Thursday, May 25, 2006

Do You Believe In Magic

I have a chair at my computer desk. I swear it's magic. I don't know how it does it, but I swear that if you sit down in it, within minutes you will have to poop. Forget xlax, if you are constipated, come on over, because I have the cure for you!

I discovered the true magic of this chair the day I returned home from Vancouver. Early that morning at the airport, I had to poop and I very muchly wanted to get it over with before getting on the plane. I wanted a comfortable flight you understand. Off I went, the bathrooms there are quite nice, but I had nothing. Nothing.

I tired again once more before going through security. All efforts were put in, but with no result. It was starting to piss me off. I boarded the plane. What a long flight. I tried twice more in the teeny tiny bathroom on board, once through some turbulance when I should have been at my seat with the seatbelt on. Lemme tell ya, don't try that at home. Or really, on a plane, cause it does not quite work at home.

By the time I got to Montreal, I was still unsuccessful and I gave it another shot at Trudeau Airport. No dice. 7 hours later and nada. After a delayed flight and the car ride home, I was ready for bed. But I had to check my email first. I sat in the chair.

By the time I had finished reading one email, there it was. I was ready! SOOO satisfying. One of the best feelings EVER. I went back to continue reading emails. Within minutes, I was ready to go again! Once again, satisfying to the max. I hit the hay.

The next morning, I woke for work and sat at the chair once again. I dont' think I have to tell you what happend next. The chair saved my sanity.

Since this day, everytime I sit down in that chair it brings sweet sweet relief. I don't know why, I don't know how. But I love it.

THE MAGIC POOP CHAIR. Come on over and try it.


At 6:07 PM, Blogger Rumpty Dumpty said...

hahaha, i want a pooping chair


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