Sunday, June 04, 2006

Hello - hello - hello - 'lo- 'lo

I have had the worst gas lately. Farty farty fart farts like all the time. If you've been around me lately and have been wondering about that smell. Yeah, it was me. I'm sorry okay, but it's just unhealthy to keep it in.

One of the funniest/most embarrasing things about this however, is when you are on the toilet, even just for a pee, and the fart comes out. The bowl acts as a canyon, and all you can hear for miles is your fart echoing into the night. It's fine if you're in the comfort of your own home, but man! When you're about and about and the need for a public washroom becomes appairant. Oh my. Red cheeks all around.

Pun intended.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Poop=Jesus. Black Jesus.

Man O man.

Speaking of the after drinking poops...specifically the after drinking red wine poops...ALWAYS the next day I poop black poop. Fuck it's sick looking. Black poop. Gross. Does red wine do this everyone else? It is guaranteed for me. And I just shit one out. pure. black.

BUT does anyone else find that if they have a hangover or headache from the previous night's shinanigans, that once you have that poop the next day, you feel signficantly better? My hangover if basically gone. Pooping is my saviour.

Friday, June 02, 2006

I'm Sorry Belly!

I'm sorry that I put alcohol and pizza into you. I'm sorry. Please don't be angry anymore at me okay! I'll never ever ever do it again. I swear.

For the next 12 hours anyway.

The after drinking poops are the worst. They can last all day and the farts go right along with it. But I do think that that first initial poop the morning after drinking automatically takes away fifty percent of a hangover. It's one of the best feelings in the world.